The "Science" of Childcare - the scourge of modern society.

As the coalition attempts to get to grips with tackling this country's enormous deficit, inevitably Welfare and Education are among the front runners for intense scrutiny.

I doubt many of us would question a general spending overhaul in all government departments, the growth of management level employees over the past 10 or more years has been exponential and excessive. But what I as a parent, former teacher and Registered Childminder would most like to see is an admission that the patchwork that is the Children's Plan has stupendously failed to improve opportunities for children from less well-off families (Jill Kirby Telegraph 11th June), and that "learning outcomes" for children are no better with the blinkered focus on quantifying and measuring learning and achievement using the six learning areas and 69 goals every child should achieve by the age of five.

For me, it has always been obvious that children learn best when they are valued, loved, happy, interested and encouraged. Giving them opportunities and supporting their curiosity is of paramount importance, not photographing and recording their every action as evidence of progress and attainment. I’ve seen teachers carrying around digital cameras and post-it notes constantly so as not to miss anything they need to record rather than focussing on their vocational task in hand and found it quite distasteful. It is degrading for teacher’s to justify their professional recordings in this way, akin to a GP having to photograph each patient and add a note of conversations and discussions to support each prescription. Or the surgeon having to stop mid- operation to photograph each step and justify his action and the patient's progress! Totally absurd but a product of the gradual attrition of the professional qualifications of all who teach and care for children. Is it any wonder there is a national shortage of suitably qualified teachers and the job has become so much more about recording and pen pushing than actual teaching that those with the best teaching qualities are no longer attracted to the profession? And childminders are apparently quitting at the rate of 12 per day, small wonder perhaps when a trip to the park becomes another day of box- ticking and self-justification?

What is it with our obsession with making all that should be intuitive and spontaneous into a science? 

A friend with a premature baby was recently told she should keep expressing all her daughter's feeds so she could record exactly how much milk the child drank. What on earth FOR? If the child is thriving and producing plenty of wet nappies then intake is irrelevant and expressing potentially damaging since it fails to stimulate milk supply like a baby feeding. A different issue but another good example with our obsession with quantifying, measuring and recording!

What we are losing at an alarming rate in this country is the ability to trust our human instinct and intuition, as mothers, carers and professionals. 

The money wasted on this is shocking. There is no evidence that Every Child Matters has done more than generate a phenomenal amount of training, paperwork and stress for professionals whilst they are distracted from interacting , caring and nurturing those in their care. Records matter, but professionals should be able to write them without focussing on collecting evidence every second of the day.

In our drive for efficiency and frugality in the cuts ahead let's take this golden opportunity to reassess and reevaluate what really matters to our children. This requires far less financial input and reinstates the professionalism of those working with children. It would recognise the all-important ingredients for happy, thriving individuals in all arenas and form the building blocks of happy successful adults.

As human beings we need to be loved, nurtured and respected. Children should have opportunities to succeed and progress but no amount of tick boxes and performance indicators can guarantee this. Unless there is good reason for greater scrutiny on an individual basis attempting to mechanise a child's development is costly and superficial at best, at worst it undermines professionals and prevents them from doing what they do best- caring for our children.

RIP Zippy Mouse

It's been an odd week. After calm acceptance (below) came the storm. First the rental was offered to someone else, having been supposedly taken off the market, then problem after problem arose with the new build. It would seem I am all out of adrenalin because even I was surprised how serenely I digested each piece of news and with visions of our family sleeping in cardboard boxes somewhere on the road to Ipswich I dedicated the week to serious house hunting. It paid off, and many miles, viewings and tired stroppy children later we had two beautiful (and very different) homes to choose from.

So do I play Lady of the Manor in a superb Georgian house or Footballer's Wife in an equally appealing town house? In the end we plumped for the latter, if only because it is far closer to the Station and it would seem that two house moves are no longer on the cards - all being well in the summer we will make one move to our new home and be settled in time for the new term.

This week had more surprises up its' sleeve than Paul Daniels however and midweek I realised with horror that my smallest boy was infested with head-lice. Ugh. Something every parent dreads but thankfully he was easy to clear. I made sure I took a large paper bag to school today when the head-lice notification letters were sent home (I now keep a stock of useful identity shields, highly recommended for days like today) and fondly remembered bringing similar slips home to my parents when at school. We used to sit on the school bus home and draw little diagrams of lice all over the letter too! Lovely...

The on Friday, after a blisteringly hot first Sport's Day at Josh's school we came home to discover his beloved hamster, Zippy, had died in his sleep. He was pretty old for a hamster and had enjoyed a full life but we are extremely sad to see him go. We held a funeral and wished him plenty of banana chips in his little niche in heaven, thinking of the prehistoric squirrel in Ice Age and his acorn! Zippy was our first hamster and a real character, he will be much missed.

So, on with a new week, forget the battered Volvo and Hunter Wellies, this summer I need blonde highlights, hair straighteners and a visit to the nail parlour. Wind Chimes de rigeur and a good dose of Mediterranean Sun would be nice. I think the Multipla might have to go though..... it never was going to fit either option!

Experiments in Minimalism

So here I am, sitting in my sunny spot outside my kitchen. Which, in point of fact, will no longer be "mine" in 7 weeks of so, and if we're being picky the chair might be my favourite spot to sit when the sun is out, but I rarely sit down at all! 

Still, when the sun is shining, and I find a rare quiet moment it is most definitely my most favourite seat. Shutting my eyes, listening to a bumble bee drone past I could be a child again, in a different garden at a very different time. I'm quite an aesthetic person, finding sounds, smells and sights incredibly evocative and  sustaining. Just thirty seconds of imagining a time of incredible simplicity and serenity is sufficient to revitalise me again. 

We are busy packing all the items we will not need until we finally move into our new build early next year and I have to remind myself in my haste that material items carry all-too-important sensory meaning too. I can do simplicity, live very well without the trappings of materialistic accumulation but I would not stay happy for long without the little touchstones of my life. This seat has seen me watch my children grow and play, nurse babies and cuddle baby rabbits. Plan menus, muddle through family logistics and campaign strategies (for anyone who tells you running a large family is not akin to a major military campaign is being economical with the truth) and escape the noise within.

Not bad going considering how infrequently it is used - but then that is exactly the point I am making. Filtering everything out except our wind chime tinkling in the breeze for the briefest of spells is quite sufficient to calm the soul. Which is why I will be packing the most obvious of creature comforts during sixth months of minimalist experimentation, but the chair, the wind chime and hopefully some sun this summer will be coming with me.

The Country Show

Well today, at last, the sun seemed to break through what has been a truly wintery week.  What a difference a little bit of sunshine makes. Today was the Hadleigh Show, an event I look forward to every year. In a moment of ambitious optimism we decided to all go, hoping for few tantrums and meltdowns and  as little rain as possible!

It started well, until H spied the Australian leather hats and decided that he couldn't live without one - and any suggestion otherwise met with screaming and sobbing. We doggedly persevered with promises of hats for good behaviour and enjoyed the sunshine, ponies (my daughter informed me"girls don't ride horses Mummy")  and laughed at the Dog Agility Team whilst keeping an eye open for the most promising coffee stand for essential caffeine top-ups to steady the nerves. 

Queueing for lunch required more paper bags than we could muster, so lacking invisibility or at least limited visibility we gritted our teeth and stoically reminded H of the promised hat if he managed to wait with at least attempted patience. Someone please remind me next time to obtain a menu from the burger van in advance to allow him to make his choice from a clearly set out list of choices though, since interpreting a chalkboard list whilst waiting in line was never going to work.

The twins enjoyed sitting in the fire engine, always a highlight of the day for them. This year though A had more in mind than pretending to drive and managed to start the computer up! A few clicks on the mouse and he'd reconfigured the nav-com, and the engine was destined for Pontefract. Swift intervention from Richard prevented trouble but A was really very disappointed! ( I think he had designs on following in Fireman Sam's footsteps, he's always had a penchant for fire engines. ) K's wish for the day was to see some baby piglets though and in this we failed to deliver but she did concede the cows were "quite nice". Fortunately Richard stopped short of pointing out the nearest we got to baby pigs were the bacon rolls at the burger van since we had only just managed to stop H getting progressively more frustrated as he struggled with the concept of eating meat whilst admiring the cute animals on display! The highlight of my day was getting caught in the Joules tent when the Heaven's opened, and I was forced to spend fifteen minutes browsing.... and spending more than I ought to. Well, it was obviously Fate intervening and it would have been rude not to!

Eventually, we congratulated ourselves on achieving a family outing relatively unscathed and bought the coveted hat. I must admit it really suits him - and he is now wearing it asleep in bed!!

Protection or Prejudice?

There is much written at the moment in Blogland about the Children, Schools and Families Bill, Child Protection and parenting choices. What most of you reading this or any other Blog today might be unaware of is the potential impact across all society that this Bill might have had if passed (and still might have if Labour are re-elected and have a second attempt) which extends beyond how you choose to educate your children. It challenges something totally fundamental in our society. Not only does it challenge the right parents currently have to choose how their child is educated but introduces an unpalatable advance into the erosion of individual choice and independence to be and live as we choose.

The CSF Bill which has largely been dropped due to pressure from Home Educators who not only objected to State interference in their right to educate their children as they see fit but also pointed out the obvious - that a HE child is no more or less "at risk" than any other school educated child, all of whom have long periods of time at home. The unfortunate Khyra Ishak was indeed deregistered from mainstream schooling but was not, by any stretch of the imagination Home Educated. But suspicion is the child of ignorance and choosing a path for your family which is in any way different from the vast majority should not leave you open to prejudice. Yet Ed Balls has stated he fully intends to "provide proper protection to home educated children" if Labour are re-elected.

There is a veritable industry that exists to "safeguard children" now which must therefore justify its existence on a daily basis. So deep is the desire to prove themselves at every level this "protection" system is trapped looking for cases and fitting individuals into their preconceived moulds. There is no room for uniqueness, for unorthodoxy, God forbid you do not choose to or are unable to tend towards the mean. This offers up a perfect opportunity to convert misunderstanding into accusation.  

This is a constant battle fought by parents of disabled children, particularly those with invisible disabilities. So vast and complicated is the framework in which support is or is not available that if there is not an immediately visible, convenient niche in which to slot your family (either inside or outside that framework) then you invite suspicion and intervention. Instead of training health professionals, social workers and other front line workers to respond to individuals on a case-by-case basis we are trapped in a system where government frameworks and policies constrain free, rational thinking and financial accountability has been stretched to require self justification at every level. In our case we have a very able, but clearly autistic child who does not fit the mould of expected outcomes for education and behaviour management. Consternation and lack of alternatives precipitated enquiry and accusation because there wasn't a tick box for our family.

The modern world needs to learn  to celebrate individuality, in a current time frame rather than persecuting those with something unique to offer society. We are taught to recognise and remember those who were "different" in history and we are learning, slowly, to recognise apparent "deviations" from the norm when faced with large groups. Religious toleration, racial and social acceptance are goals many aspire to if not reach but still, in the twenty first century it is still socially and politically acceptable to seek and root out, to stigmatise, persecute and victimise that which is unfamiliar and alien. It seems we have learned little and increasingly offer ourselves up to be judged by supporting continued and increasing State intervention in our lives. Without individuals and individual ways of living we might just as well enter a Brave New World and admit defeat of the very essence of being human.

My brain hurts...

Just for a short time it would be nice to stop thinking - or at least to only consider banal stuff like how much chocolate to eat and whether I really need a second glass of wine. (I do, actually) We have been stuck in analysis paralysis for a week or more, the final and most traumatic of the decision making process which has been gathering pace since last summer.

Last summer, we decided we really would benefit from more space, and despite loving our current home we decided to put it on the market and at the same time consider the alternative - extending. The latter initially appeared ideal but we hadn't bargained for our new neighbours (retired couple with little else to do it seems) putting up the mother of all fights to ensure our plans were blocked, befriending the local council and making THE most ridiculous song and dance about the mere duplication of what everyone else in our situation has been doing on this estate for years. I guess it served to focus the mind, and although we revised, resubmitted and had plans of a sort passed we became committed to moving.

Then R changed jobs, and the nice little plan or dropping J at his early morning school bus each day started to look less than realistic. Throw the proposed dissolution of our Middle School System into the equation, with the peak disruption poised to coincide perfectly with H's transfer and moving started to look extremely attractive. Time to simplify, consolidate and upgrade. Cool.

Pity the Recession didn't share our new found enthusiasm. The ridiculous HIP requirement has resulted in a housing market less fluid than treacle and now completely lacking in the "just testing the water" percentage which previously gave a more dynamic feel. We've had plenty of viewers. We *apparently* have at least two buyers - but they can't sell either and thus the whole thing grinds to a halt something like Essex roads after the Winter of Discontent which created more pot-holes than the lava roads of Lanzarote. I know - I've been there.

So, in a potentially futile attempt to swim against the tide of apathy endemic in the housing market we are going to brave, possibly foolish and most definitely proactive. We're buying, never mind the selling.... but which one? A choice of two...... and that choice is, quite literally, doing my head in. We've done the floor plan comparison, walked countless times from each to the school three of the children will attend, considered the immediate locality for both and compiled copious "for/against" lists. None of it helps but seems to merely add to the general confusion however, so I seriously think we have only one option left, that of tossing a coin! 

So major changes are imminent in the lives of all family members which we (all, actually) find quite exciting, and hopefully we will surge past the current Stalemate and emerge with a new home and proposed lifestyle in the next week or so! I'll keep you updated - and if you know anyone who wants to buy a lovely 4 bed, please send them our way!!

What are you giving up for Lent?

So next week sees the start of Lent. Not a part of the Church Calendar I have ever strictly observed, but this year I'm giving it my best shot. Some carefully considered acts of penitence and sacrifice might well improve my chances of a less stressful rest of the year! 

So here is my list of good intentions:-

1. Give up reheating cold cups of tea. I know it doesn't work, nothing is worse than reheated cold tea and the chances of remembering to remove it from the microwave let alone drink it are slim.

2. Stop worrying about going to bed early - the sense of failure when it doesn't happen is far worse than the lack of sleep.

3. Accept the kitten will always reach the defrosting bread/cakes on the kitchen worktop (or any other food item left out in the kitchen) before I do and give up expecting otherwise. Miracles do take a little longer, even in Lent.

4. Give up worrying what other people think because the chances are they live on another planet/parallel universe/have no children/haven't heard of ADHD let alone Autism

5. J is going to attempt to give up video games... although he doesn't know this yet. Fortunately Jesus never had to suffer such temptation since the Devil was lacking video games in his arsenal, this will be a tough one I assure you.



6. Feeling guilty. Any parents reading this will know only too well that with the arrival of a little bundle of joy also comes a sack labelled "guilt". The more the child grows, so does the guilt. The failures of parents are extolled in parenting books, newspaper columns, magazines and even now in schools as they strive to "teach" parents as well as the children to tick the necessary boxes for next years OFSTED inspection. In actual fact, the vast majority of parents do a damn good job with scarce resources (sleep) and limited sympathy (the world at large in today's social climate) and jettisoning the guilt is a major step forward. With four sacks of guilt to carry my back is seriously suffering, and the osteopathy bills are no joke.

7. Sweets. I don't really even LIKE them. It's just a sugar fix, something to grab on-the-run and everyone knows sugar is nature's analgesic. Little more than a sticky plaster on a stressful day this one should be easy.... or easier than...

8. Caffeine. Don't even go there. Life without Caffeine is beyond the pale and the subject is totally off limits.

9. And as for my biggest weakness, the internet, I would be in such a state without it that everyone would give up on ME so I think that one will have to stay!