Everyone needs a back-up Sunshine

My youngest son's favourite cuddly toy, partner in crime and constant comfort is "Sunshine" a monster of dubious origin which Father Christmas kindly sought out for him three years ago to match the class travelling toy. As it happened, Father Christmas was sourced exactly the same toy that A's class had, so naturally he sports the same name.

All my children have fallen in love with muslins, probably no coincidence since all four had pretty severe reflux and would constantly regurgitate feeds. Muslins were everywhere, no one picked up, let alone held a baby without one, even as toddlers muslins were in constant use. They have had different names over the years, perhaps my favourite being "zhou-zhou" or "jou-jou". (A cross between a "shh" and a "j".) It transpired several years later that this was in fact a toddler corruption of "tissue", but that's what happens when you have glue ear....

Son number one also became rather attached to small bear known very originally as "Bear" and "Jou-Jou and Bear" are still around to this day. Son number two developed a penchant for polar bears and managed to communicate his need for one. After a fruitless search here I bought a "Beanie Buddy" polar bear on ebay and it was shipped all the way from the USA. Our daughter loves cuddles - ALL of them and cycles them around but our youngest son became belatedly VERY attached to Sunshine.

He's been his constant companion for three years, and having nearly lost his previous favourite, a panda called "Hamster" (don't ask) which I wrote about here  I was rather nervous about losing Sunshine. This was even more likely given the number of trips to London they made together, Sunshine providing comfort, solidarity and day-glo yellow support during traumatic hospital trips.

Not to mention on the way home....

So we made the sensible decision to purchase a spare "Sunshine", as the thought of losing such a valued friend was too traumatic to even think about. For at least two years "Spare Sunshine" lived secretly hidden at the top of my wardrobe. That is, until he-who-can't-keep-secrets noticed, and that was that. Cat out of the bag - or rather Sunshine out of the wardrobe......

So "Spare Sunshine" was now a publicly acknowledged safety net, tolerated, but not quite accepted...

And in any case, as A correctly pointed out, he looks far too new, too unloved and inexperienced to qualify as a valid "spare"!

But I was cleaning A's room last week, a thorough "Spring Clean" involving taking everything including "Spare Sunshine" down from the top of the wardrobe and it made me think. I had been so  concerned that my child would think I honestly believed his precious toy could ever be duplicated (let alone replaced) and therefore like most mothers who similarly back up life's essentials in this way I had been quite secretive about it. But actually, what is so very wrong about a "back up"? All too often life's plans, hopes and dreams don't go exactly as we anticipated, precious things are lost or broken, people move and life doesn't pan out as per Plan A. We can protect our children only from so much, life is rarely as straitforward as we would like.

Maybe a gentle introduction into the concept of a "Plan B" isn't so bad? It might not be what you felt you needed, or really wanted, but sometimes we have to embrace "Plan B" and go for it - make it work. And let's face it, even when "Plan A" is going swimmingly, it's a wise person who plans for all eventualities. Everyone needs a "Spare Sunshine".

Copyright Musings of a 21st C SAHM