The bargaining power of a fruit pastille.

It is certainly true that scarcity breeds desire for many things and that is certainly true in our house. Take the average fruit pastille. I imagine if I had some to hand regularly at home their presence would have no impact whatsoever, but the mere suggestion of producing one can persuade the twins to perform wondrous U-turns in behaviour that only toddlers are capable of.

Today was ballet - something the pair of them have raved about and practised daily at home since their first trial lesson. Now they have the uniform and are fully paid up members of the dance school however A had other ideas. Unless he could dance in his Cinderella dress he wasn't playing ball. Not for anything would he put on the black T shirt and shorts he had coveted so much a fortnight ago. In a moment of guile and cunning I suggested H might like a tube of fruit pastilles from the cafe bar whilst K danced.... and we were in business. One fruit pastille later and the promise of another after his lesson and A was changed and in the hall. Perfect. Only problem then was persuading H that he couldn't eat the rest of the packet before the lesson ended.......

Parenting, in my opinion, is 99% mind games and 1% organisation. Perhaps a little else - but not much! Trying to keep on top of the needs, wants and demands of four kids is no mean feat, but I have a little world class expert in mind battles to contend with here. H, with a diagnosis of Asperger's Syndrome, can reduce the toughest parent to a heap of jelly with his relentless arguing, repetitive demands and escalating volume. Personally I think Barney videos at Guantanamo Bay were waaaay over-rated as a form of mental torture - life with an Aspie is often MUCH higher up the scale of mental olympics. Imagine gradually "coming to" at 5am to the sound of someone yelling (at an ever-increasing volume) the morning's explanation of their current state. It's usually "I'm not going to school!" followed by "You can't make me!" etc which is in fact (I believe) designed to wear you down before you have a chance of a positive start. From then on in it's negotiation at the highest level.... in fact Sir Alan would be really impressed by his unswerving dedication to the chosen topic and his ruthless persuasive technique. What worries me is we end up only partially listening and finding we have agreed to trampolining at midnight or similar! But then being allowed more than 5-6 hours sleep would give parents an unfair advantage....

Sadly fruit pastilles rarely cut it for H, unless offered in bulk. His preferred carrot is always more expensive, and usually something to do with Pokemon. I did try offering a single card each time but somehow without realising it had given in to offering a whole pack in one go. The makers of Pokemon certinaly knew what they were doing too - designed to perfectly appeal to every child (and adult!) on the Autism Spectrum in every way. GAME store owners across the country rub their hands together in glee when a new Pokemon game is released, knowing full well it isn't an option to buy for many but an essential, spawning numerous Youtube monologues offering walk-thru advice which H actually sits and listens to whilst playing the game on his console. It's so much more than "just a game" for these kids, and like A's fruit pastille, the creators understand only too well that rarity breeds desire. Each and every pack of cards will be largely full of worthless duplicates whilst the "Super Rare" Pokemon remain elusive and few and far between.

Now, if I could lay my hands on the "Super Rare" Pokemon fruit pastille equivalent I really would be getting somewhere. Whoever said "knowledge is power" hadn't spent a 12 hour day attempting to bargain with a 7 year old Aspie, or indeed the majority of under tens on the planet. What it all boils down to most of the time is holding that super rare fruit pastille or the Pokemon everyone is looking for....