Sunday 9 March 2014

Everyone needs a back-up Sunshine

My youngest son's favourite cuddly toy, partner in crime and constant comfort is "Sunshine" a monster of dubious origin which Father Christmas kindly sought out for him three years ago to match the class travelling toy. As it happened, Father Christmas was sourced exactly the same toy that A's class had, so naturally he sports the same name.


All my children have fallen in love with muslins, probably no coincidence since all four had pretty severe reflux and would constantly regurgitate feeds. Muslins were everywhere, no one picked up, let alone held a baby without one, even as toddlers muslins were in constant use. They have had different names over the years, perhaps my favourite being "zhou-zhou" or "jou-jou". (A cross between a "shh" and a "j".) It transpired several years later that this was in fact a toddler corruption of "tissue", but that's what happens when you have glue ear....




Son number one also became rather attached to small bear known very originally as "Bear" and "Jou-Jou and Bear" are still around to this day. Son number two developed a penchant for polar bears and managed to communicate his need for one. After a fruitless search here I bought a "Beanie Buddy" polar bear on ebay and it was shipped all the way from the USA. Our daughter loves cuddles - ALL of them and cycles them around but our youngest son became belatedly VERY attached to Sunshine.

He's been his constant companion for three years, and having nearly lost his previous favourite, a panda called "Hamster" (don't ask) which I wrote about here  I was rather nervous about losing Sunshine. This was even more likely given the number of trips to London they made together, Sunshine providing comfort, solidarity and day-glo yellow support during traumatic hospital trips.


Not to mention on the way home....


So we made the sensible decision to purchase a spare "Sunshine", as the thought of losing such a valued friend was too traumatic to even think about. For at least two years "Spare Sunshine" lived secretly hidden at the top of my wardrobe. That is, until he-who-can't-keep-secrets noticed, and that was that. Cat out of the bag - or rather Sunshine out of the wardrobe......

So "Spare Sunshine" was now a publicly acknowledged safety net, tolerated, but not quite accepted...


And in any case, as A correctly pointed out, he looks far too new, too unloved and inexperienced to qualify as a valid "spare"!

But I was cleaning A's room last week, a thorough "Spring Clean" involving taking everything including "Spare Sunshine" down from the top of the wardrobe and it made me think. I had been so  concerned that my child would think I honestly believed his precious toy could ever be duplicated (let alone replaced) and therefore like most mothers who similarly back up life's essentials in this way I had been quite secretive about it. But actually, what is so very wrong about a "back up"? All too often life's plans, hopes and dreams don't go exactly as we anticipated, precious things are lost or broken, people move and life doesn't pan out as per Plan A. We can protect our children only from so much, life is rarely as straitforward as we would like.

Maybe a gentle introduction into the concept of a "Plan B" isn't so bad? It might not be what you felt you needed, or really wanted, but sometimes we have to embrace "Plan B" and go for it - make it work. And let's face it, even when "Plan A" is going swimmingly, it's a wise person who plans for all eventualities. Everyone needs a "Spare Sunshine".



Copyright Musings of a 21st C SAHM

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26 comments:

  1. Ah that's so lovely! I would love me a spare sunshine!! Neither of our two have become particularly attached to anything yet (they're 16m and 2.7y) other than my eldest insists on having a 'tag' for sleep - a label on anything!

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  2. it's so lovely when they have a special toy :) x

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  3. I love their faces when they see a toy they love x

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  4. I love the picture of them both together, it reminds me of when mine were little and it feels like such a long time ago :-( I agree about the spare sunshine! Its always good to have a spare to fall back on if the worst ever happened x

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  5. my son used to love his cuddle me Elmo when he was little.

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  6. Aww and we have 2 "cats" one is at nanny's - but it's not quite the same.

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  7. This is so sweet!! My son is 8 and autistic and he goes to bed with Po from the Teletubbies every night! It's adorable!

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  8. Mine never had special toys :( Just me!

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  9. A really great idea to have a spare Sunshine! I'd even have a spare, spare!!

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  10. We also did this, but the back-ups, purchased too late, were never quite the right size or colour. And yes, just not loved (scraggy) enough. In 'real life' though, I always now have a plan B, having once put all my eggs in the plan A (great nursery, or so I thought...) and getting a rude awakening. Plus, our girl doesn't always agree with Plan A ;) Plan B's are good!!! Love Sunshine btw :) x

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  11. back ups never worked here :( beautiful babies.

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  12. brilliant if you can get of a favourite toy, mine would probably know!

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  13. So cure. Often a great idea to have a backup. Having been a nanny for numerous years I've had to drive all the way back to work (40 mins drive) when a lost comforter was discovered in the back of my car.....too annoying

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  14. It's great to have a back up toy.
    Beautiful children x

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  15. So cute - mine never really had a fave bear :0(

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  16. We ended up with two cuddly bunnies for Emma too and she rejected them both afterwards, confusion probably :-). Your babies were refluxy too, of dear, such a pain, going through it at the moment and hating it but hey, what can be done??What did u use for them, we are on special milk and Losec but we are still struggling...#BlogClub

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    1. Hi Oana, we are a bit complicated as the children have EGID (there's a page on that above) and possible connective tissue disorder. The early months are tough, especially 4-6 months when reflux often peaks. I've put lots of advice on my Recipe Blog http://thereciperesource.blogspot.co.uk there are several things you can do, lots of small, frequent feeds. It's essential to wean slowly and carefully too. xx

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  17. Aw, this is such a lovely post. My son has a Peter rabbit bought for him at birth by his gran, and a taggy blanket thwt I made for him. I didn't thin to make a second spare taggy, although we get away without a spare for peter rabbit because his nursery have the exact same one which he hogs and it's followed him from the baby room through ducks and now into preschool. I really should get him a spare just in case.

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  18. Awww. How sweet. My kids never stay attached to the same toy for very long.

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  19. Muslins, I still have little mans in the cupboard cant bare to part with them x
    #BlogClub

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  20. Lol they always know if you've swapped them. My little one has blanket and we have lots of the same one so we can wash them but everytime we give her a new one she gets cross and says it's not her blanket :-)

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  21. Great post. We didn't get a spare blanket ("rag") for G & even now at age 10, she needs a very tiny scrap of the original to go to sleep and comfort her when she needs it. In contrast, we went overboard and got 3 "softies" for M - the original, 1 spare for ours and 1 spare for my Mum's - needless to say his favourite is Cat (who is irreplaceable) and who travels everywhere, including to GOSH. Sometimes even the best back-up plan doesn't work out as you thought! Rxxx

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  22. Awww I love Sunshine :) When my Star was little she had a Twinkie (pink blanky with a teddy head) and one day she lost while out. Now Twinkie was well worn as it had never left her side and we thought there was no way she'd accept a replacement, but we got her one anyway, and she was fine with it. We called it Twinkie2 (imaginative, yes!)
    #PoCoLo

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  23. Our three each have a 'special' toy, given to them by one of their uncles - and they each have two of them, just in case :) #PoCoLo

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