Too Much, Too Soon, Too Fast

There is an interesting trend in our society that I have become acutely aware of. It's not new, but is certainly becoming more prevalent. It's pretty shocking in its apparent stupidity and deviates clearly from the past dichotomy in society between childhood and adulthood, which has always been profoundly entrenched.

I'm referring to the apparent need of so many (mostly upper middle class) parents to appear to forget all reason and scale and indulge their children to obscene degrees, almost as if they are forgetting that they are in fact children, and (unless visiting from some parallel universe where money does indeed grow on trees) children who will one day have to make at least some attempt at forging their own path in life.

Children with every adult techno gadget available, with the adult designer label clothes who are hurtling towards a kind of pre-pubescent emotionally immature adult status faster than their parents can offer the latest iPad.

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

The irony is that these children are usually the very ones who were spoilt toddlers and pre-schoolers, indulged with everything from the Great Little Trading Co. catalogue, the entire Mini Boden range at full price and encouraged to stay young and pampered for so much longer than many of their peers. But once they get beyond seven or eight - suddenly, they are no longer little children and metamorphosise overnight into mini adults.

Loosening the Reins

This weekend son #1 is camping in the wilds of the Welsh Marches to complete the Expedition component of his  Silver Duke of Edinburgh Award. I'm not permitted to post a photograph of the pack he has to carry, mainly because I took it whilst he was trying out carrying it  in his pyjamas (!) but suffice to say he would have an easier time piggybacking either of his eight year old twin siblings than lugging that great thing for four days.

or maybe not... as rucksacks are quiet and generally well behaved, and camping is not something I would contemplate for one moment with his youngest siblings!

Coming up for Air

This week has been a week of some pretty impressive successes in our family. It's been a tough year and many times I've felt utterly overwhelmed, nervous I might drop the ball, forget a plate as they all spin wildly out of control, or unlike Mrs Skittle, not be able to ping back from yet another setback.

Yet this was one of those weeks where you can take a small step back and think  "Yes. It was all worthwhile" and admire the fruits of your (and their) labours.

Liebster Award

Thank you to Angela at There and Back Again - A Mother's Tale for nominating me for a Liebster Award! This was actually for my Dorothy Whiskers online magazine but since that is for children I needed to post the main article here.

A Liebster Award is an award for bloggers, a way to say, "Hey, I like your blog!" It’s a bit like a chain letter, I answer 11 questions and then nominate more bloggers with less than 500 followers to answer my 11 questions, here goes!

Why Traditional Feminism is Failing Today's Women.

I've been reading reactions over the past week to Kirstie Allsopp's opinions on women planning careers and families. As is so often the case, much of the negative reaction she received was because people (as they so often do) jumped on the bandwagon without actually reading what she said. (My dad would have called it "picking up fag-ends"!) It is what much (knee-jerk) opinion on Twitter and other social media is based on too and is SO frustrating to someone making a valid point.

So what did Kirstie actually SAY?

Kathryn Grant on "Bumps and Grind" wrote an excellent post on this and I quote:-

"Based on my reading of the article, Kirstie made several important points about lifestyle choices (as well as some very touching comments on how this country deals with death and bereavement). Her point seems to be that, despite all the "choices" women now have, the one thing that cannot be changed is our biological fertility. We have increased life expectancy dramatically, but failed to lengthen the fertility window, so women (and men!) should consider their choices (study, work, house, kids) in a different order. "

"Mother And Daughter" by Ambro via freedigitalphotos.net

As any half-decent Historian or researcher will tell you, you need the Primary Resource - so in Kirstie's words from the Telegraph interview with Bryony Gordon:-

  “Women are being let down by the system. We should speak honestly and frankly about fertility and the fact it falls off a cliff when you’re 35. We should talk openly about university and whether going when you’re young, when we live so much longer, is really the way forward. At the moment, women have 15 years to go to university, get their career on track, try and buy a home and have a baby. That is a hell of a lot to ask someone. As a passionate feminist, I feel we have not been honest enough with women about this issue. [Fertility] is the one thing we can’t change. "

Sounds pretty obvious to me I hear you say.... so what on earth was the fuss all about?!

The Beginning of the end? Is Minecraft about to descend into the Nether?

SO the world internet gaming sensation MINECRAFT seems to be 

selling its soul and moving into the Nether.

As Hammad Toufiq details in his excellent post on Segment Next Mojang (the company which created and own Minecraft) are to restricting Minecraft Servers from making money, changing something called the EULA (End User License Agreement).

Now before you think I'm going to bombard you with technical terms and details - I'm not. You don't need them. The point here is simple.... Mojang are allegedly proposing to prevent anyone using their game to create their own content and then financially benefit from that content. It's guess it's a bit like being in a company - what you think of or create during the time you are there is owned by the company, harsh maybe but fair enough. But this is a community! And the difference here is the phenomenon which is Minecraft is such an incredible success precisely for the reason that such use exists. 

The game costs £17.99 , so Mojang are not making a killing per sale, but since sales have hit record levels they are not doing too badly. And take into account the must-have over-priced accessories it's a pretty good business model.

But what makes people buy it, play it and enjoy it is it's unique interactivity, creativity and community.

You've only got to look at the popularity of their annual conference, Minecon. Location is kept secret until the last minute, and tickets sell out in minutes. MINUTES. The audience is not full of software developers either - it's mostly full of young people. Young people who might not usually enjoy community events, might not want to speak publicly, ask questions and enjoy pretty academic discussion. it's a fantastic achievement.

So why are Mojang trying to mess with a winning formula? Haven't they heard that well known phrase - "If it ain't broke, don't "fix" it!"?

A Plague of Euphemisms

All four of our children have in their time come up with some highly amusing (and at times pretty damn clever) alternative terms as young children will. From "Hot Boots" for slippers, going for a "Bike-Walk" ie a bike ride with Daddy, to the more extreme "Woomarrer" (Sp???!) for Lawnmower (A) and "Coconut Vegetables" for, well, just about anything (H) we now have quite an extensive Thompson nomenclature. So extensive is it that R and I can be found chuckling to ourselves most days using a totally alternative Thompson dialect. The current resurgent favourite is the absurd "Woomarrer" word for lawnmower, spawning "Extreme Woomarrer-ing" for a variety of mowing techniques. Bizarre I know. But you had to be there. Honestly.

On a more serious note it occured to me how so many groups in society are now guilty of the same thing. Certainly my IT Director husband knows "Geek Speak" or "Tecchie Babble" or whatever you want to call it, and the ridiculous jargon used in business to "flag up" and "Blue Sky" the main issues and tackle the "low-hanging fruit"...(Or "high hanging vegetables" according to A which could even be extrapolated to high-hanging coconut vegetables if desperate but like I said, it's a Thompson thing.)

This surge of social dialects is transforming society. Regional dialects still exist of course but the population is so mobile now they are considerably diluted. Social dialects like in the business world can seem exclusive and elitist, affirming your membership of whichever "club" you are in. But how to break in to the clique in the first place? It must be like arriving in deepest Yorkshire from Kent a hundred years ago - or the other way around. The same is true on the internet, social networking sites like Facebook have spawned hundreds of new euphemisms, terms, and alternative descriptions. Our current need to redefine everything we come into contact with goes deep and our daily interaction with modern technology has precipitated a lot of this.

So is social networking replacing economics and geography in providing our language, customs and mannerisms? Certainly the internet has a lot to answer for, Facebook and Twitter have transformed how many of us keep in touch, superseding even texting for many as a "one-stop interaction shop". It's a bit dry and cerebral though, I'm not sure a cyber hug makes such an impact as a real one but then so few of us have time for more on an average day. The virtual gifts of coffee and alcohol are tasteless but sin-free, the thought was there but the enjoyment was definitely not!

Whether it is through work or play there is no doubt there has been a huge surge in social dialects - in their creation and use. Ironically one of the side effects of this is isolation and the growth of new barriers in society. It's still incredibly difficult to get a job in a local or family firm, the task is no easier with social media, just different. And sunless you have sufficient funds and a strong enough case to approach the European Court of Human Rights your past history will always haunt you!

As well as knowledge and degree of understanding of appropriate nomenclature is essential - or you don't stand a chance. Breaking into a new social group, now often on the internet, poses similar difficulties. Many's the time I have abandoned a new discussion forum because I don't feel I "fit in".

The Exclusive "Game Cubing Club". Gaming IN a cube, on the Gamecube. 

Sisters not included - "She just doesn't "get" it apparently.

What it boils down to is this. Human beings are essentially a small group species. Challenge and redefine the Venn Diagram boundaries of society - and society will come up with new ones.

But it's important not to forget that the newer, possibly less obvious frontiers are no less prohibitive to those on the other side. We haven't actually come very far in terms of creating an open society, as fast as barriers are removed or pulled down, new ones appear. And human beings really don't work well in groups naturally. Why else are we still teaching adults to work together like our toddlers at home? Are we banging our heads on the proverbial brick wall? As R will often quote:-

"There's no "I" in "Team" but there's a "me" if you look hard enough!" 

Which may well be true, but to join the "team" you need to know the language.

This action is a reference to the film "The Matrix", or more precisely our nervous 

black cat Oscar IN the Matrix, implying the current surroundings are

overwhelming and distorting. Of course. 

Which leads me to my final point.
As the parent of an Autistic child I can see these new social dialects becoming new barriers, in an otherwise liberating online world. In the past - if you liked football, watched the right shows - you had a chance of fitting in. Now however, with yourself on view to the world via social media in a way never known in history you risk utter alienation. Thank goodness then that  H has enough charisma, a warped sense of humour and sufficient intelligence to create his own social nomenclature. And he doesn't care which side of the circle you are on - it works for him.