Tuesday 23 June 2015

Why the best is no longer good enough

There have been a few interesting articles on education in social media of late. Four year olds saddled with striving for targets at school which nearly half of them fail to meet, the depressing news that we have permitted primary education to get into a "terrible mess", that homework damages our kids and that our teenagers are more stressed than ever before, many suffering mental health problems as a direct result of being put under far too much pressure.

Superficially they might seem to carry the same message - and they do, but it's not the one you might think.

Sadly the underlying problem here, that virtually all parents are complicit in, is the nurturing of excessively high expectations. The modern trend to quantify, assess, regulate and scrutinise is highly commendable in many respects, but we have lost our privacy, spontaneity, professionalism, confidence and resilience in the process. It goes without saying that there is no privacy in today's world. But the insidious consequence of looking too hard and knowing too much is a vortex of expectation escalation. "Can do better" is expected, because surely everyone can always improve? But if improvement is always possible, what is preventing the best being achieved? Thus the tinkering of the system persists, because there must be a way to do better, something much surely be "wrong"? But this perfection aspiration is killing our schools and stifling our children. Sometimes, the best is just not enough. 


The best is not enough for our children's futures, for their development, their mental health. Children need to be allowed to find their way in the world - to make mistakes, learn at their own pace and have their needs met. Qualifications have their place and matter hugely at some point, but life is not - and should never be - a conveyor belt. We are selling a whole generation short because we want the best for them. Our expectations have exceeded what is healthy, our hopes are destroying the professional environment our children learn in, and we are too involved what goes on inside that environment.

Of course that's not to say excellent should not be fostered and encouraged - merely not expected. It's a little known fact that excellence is usually a natural corollary of happiness, motivation and experimentation. Of independent learning spontaneously generated without target setting or moderation. We have lost our faith in ourselves and our children, let alone our schools and it's painful to see! In every one of my four children I have seen their best work done when no one was looking - for fun, because they felt like it, because it mattered to them. And almost never because the thumbscrews were on and a test was on the horizon! But today we seem so utterly terrified kids won't perform without excessive planning, moderation and assessment that not only our teachers but our children are losing their enthusiasm, creativity and confidence.

This process started many years ago. My generation have had to endure being told how to parent,  how to prepare their children for school, how to nurture. We've had our self confidence crushed from the start, prey to the notion that parenting is not instinctively felt. We've had governments even try and remove basic parental rights, and erode the rights of the family within the judicial system and Big Government become Big Brother in an attempt to reform - and insidiously control. Advice on just about every stage of parenting comes thick and fast - and changes as often as the weather. Blessed with the immediacy of social media everyone (and anyone) with an opinion wades in with a disproportionately strong voice, and somewhere - underneath it all, are those struggling to find their own way amongst the cacophony. 

I've never been one to follow the crowd. I care deeply what others think, but rarely do something merely because everyone else does. I have in the past though, afraid I would somehow make the wrong decision. My eldest started nursery school at 2, since I was desperate to secure his place and everyone else was doing the same. It was a massive mistake - because everyone else was not MY child, who was not ready. I learned a hard lesson then, and it took several years for him to find his feet. I've said many times that all four of my kids learned at hugely different rates, and never since have I pushed them to meet targets. Indeed it's been hugely liberating watching my "square peg" do his own thing, plot his own course and begin to emerge further on than I had ever dreamed possible. But he had to do it his way, in his own time. He is my wonderful failure - in every single Primary School assessment or test ever devised and ever taken. He is living proof that beyond tracking an individual child's progress assessments are utterly meaningless. 

So before you judge your child's school, teachers, curriculum, or hope for even one second that they will come top or get the best marks in their SATS - remember that "Good enough", IS good enough. And often, it's much better than the best. And the *only* target any healthy four year old should be aiming for is dream fulfilment - and by that I mean being a superhero and riding unicorns. 

12 comments:

  1. If only there was more availability to allow children to be themselves and to express themselves. My nephew isn't the most academic and never will be, no matter what test is devised or what is introduced but he is good at sport, anything where he has to speak and learn lines which is where I feel he should be encouraged but still have the necessary skills we all need in life with reading , writing and simple mathematics x

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  2. Such a great post, my son has just done his A levels and he has worked so hard, thankfully he has made his own choices and worked at his own pace and I haven't pressured him and he is now trying to decide what he would like to do with his future x

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  3. I have to say that one thing that really annoys me is the lack of possitive praise that children get these days for trying , in my eyes , we dont have to be the best of get the highest grades or what not, its how much we try or have the determination to do our best

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  4. Great post. I have two children that study really hard and get good grades and then I have two that really don't care. My study shy 18 year old left school last year, got a full time job which he loves and is working his way up the hard way. He may not be a studier but he is a grafter and for that I am proud

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  5. Fantastic post. I think that we need to reassess the way we judge our children and I agree that lots of parents put the pressure on kids. I am a great believer that my kids don;t need to do homework and so are most of the primary teachers I know, but it is the parents that insist on homework for their kids

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  6. I do get it and I do agree. BUT I also HATE the if you do have a child who wants to be the top, naturally, and enjoys it then we are not allowed to just celebrate those successes. I do think you tried to cover that here too (so well done on a good all round post). I see how messed up the whole system is with a very advance child in year 2 and a very behind child in year 1 - neither is getting their actual needs met imo. And that is no fault of the school.

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  7. I totally agree that happiness should be all that matters and it's about nurturing all aspects of the child and childhood.

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  8. I hate when kids are put under pressure to perform. They need space to grow and develop at their own pace. Parents need to stop comparing with other kids, each child is different.

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  9. I always pushed myself to be perfect (partly a teachers fault as they taunted me about not being able to spelling well - turned out I was highly dyslexic in most areas) I can only imagine how hard it is these days with all the targets children are meant to hit year after year. x

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  10. I love the last part about being a superhero and riding unicorns :) I try not to pressure the kids about school work, tests etc. Aiden's just had his mocks and I said the same to him as my dad said to me, if you do your best, it's good enough, no matter the result.

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  12. Good enough IS GOOD ENOUGH! As a techer, I'm sometimes baffled by the expectation to write EBI (even better if) on every child's work. What about if there's nothing to improve ... if what they've done is really good enough or more for their age and ability?

    "Children need to be allowed to find their way in the world - to make mistakes, learn at their own pace and have their needs met. Qualifications have their place and matter hugely at some point, but life is not - and should never be - a conveyor belt" - this sums it up well for me. QUALIFICATIONS ARE FAB BUT LIFE IS MORE THAN THAT. We, as parents, must take care to make sure that we make the system work our children and not the other way round.

    Thoughful post! #CommentLuv

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Many thanks for taking the time to comment, I really value your responses.

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